Many thanks to Aiglee for this meme nomination.
“The idea is to work your way through the eight phases of the dinner party, answering all of the questions on the way – being as honest and creative as you wish. Once your homework has been completed, please nominate any number of bloggers to host their very own “virtual” dinner party.”
1) The Dinner Party Theme
You have decided to hold a dinner party. When writing the invites you clearly state that fancy dress must be worn. Assuming that cost is no issue, who or what would you dress up as, and why?
Well, the dinner party would take place on a circle of rocks at the top of Sutton Bank in Yorkshire. Fancy dress? I have no idea. I’ll go as a black bear. Why? It’ll keep the wind off.
2) The Invitations
This dinner party is for 6 people (including yourself), you are allowed to invite any 5 other people (either past, present, real or fictional), who would you invite and why?
This is going to be difficult. I’d probably write a different list every day. I’m going to leave out luminaries such as Nelson Mandela and Mozart – I reckon they get to dine out at enough virtual parties as it is. Probably glad of a night in with a bag of crisps and a couple of movies. So, my five guests for this evening (with family on the fringes pawing at the food) are as follows:
Paul Theroux: for the traveller’s tales
Michael Parkinson: interviewer extraordinaire to get the best stories out of people
Louis Ferdinand Céline: for a token five minutes of deep literary discussion
Julie Walters: supreme raconteuse to keep any flagging at bay
David Hockney: to knock out a decent painting of the evening for posterity (with the sweeping landscape below Sutton Bank as background)
And, as the band (i.e. technically not one guest too many):
Tom Waits: for light-hearted, cheery musical interludes
3) The Starter
You are preparing the menu, which dish(es) would you choose as the starter, and why?
Fresh mussels in garlic and white wine (my favourite)
4) The Main Course
Okay, now for the main course? and what drink would you serve with it?
Goan fish curry
Brown rice
Guinness
5) The Sweet
Finally, the sweet. Which would you choose, and why?
English blackberry pie drenched with melted chocolate (because it’s very very nice)
6) The Entertainment
The dinner party has gone swimmingly, everybody has had fun, conversation and drinks have been flowing all evening. At the end of the meal you announce that everybody should perform their ‘party piece’ (no matter how strange or pointless). What party piece would you perform?
Well, strange and pointless would only scratch the surface. I could give a demonstration of just how surprisingly tuneless the human voice can be.
Or I suppose my owl impersonation is passably entertaining for a few seconds. Maybe I should call in the “band” at this point:
“Hey, Tom, time to give us a few songs, old pal.”
7) The End Of The Evening:
The party is over, everybody has gone home, the house suddenly feels empty and quiet. Your eyes fix on the hi-fi in the corner of the room. You search through your CD collection to put on some music as you want to listen to one more track before your retire to bed. Which track would you play?
One track? Probably one of the following:
‘Innocent When You Dream’ – Tom Waits
‘Wait for Me’ – Richard Hawley
‘A Rainy Night in Soho’ – The Pogues
‘Our Town’ – Kate Rusby
We’ll plump for The Pogues.
8) The Dinner Party Nightmares
Okay, so the “virtual” dinner party is over. Now for the real thing. Have you ever been to or hosted a dinner party during which something has gone wrong (either with the food, a guest or something else)?
My 40th birthday party was quite memorable. It was in our house, as I was still somewhat incapacitated by sciatica. So, I was lying on the floor on a yoga mat for the duration. Our next door neighbour had just broken his leg in two places in a skiing accident, so he was supine on a sofa.
Out in the back garden, the kids were sliding down the icy incline outside the kitchen. Unbeknownst to us, our youngest son was prompted (by the older and wiser sibling) to negotiate the slope while standing on a large inflatable rubber ring.
Naturally, the rubber ring immediately flipped him into the air. He then hit the icy slope teeth first. An incisor pinged out on impact. Another tooth embedded itself in his top lip. Much bleeding and screaming ensued.
All guests, cripples included, gamely rushed to administer aid.
There was no permanent damage other than to milk teeth.
Later in the evening, the smokers (including our skiing neighbour) gathered on the front porch in the chill February night. One guest, who had been caught up in the joys of babydom for too long, had opted for the fast track to a coma Merlot. Swaying unsteadily on her feet, glass and cigarette aloft, she lost her footing, grabbed the person next to her, and pulled our broken-legged neighbour down the sloping front garden, in a rolling flurry of limbs, casts, flailing crutches, and soaring wine glasses.
I hadn’t planned to spend my 40th birthday on my living room floor, but, in its own way, it was a night to remember.
The incisor was found in the spring thaw.
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Tag nominations for this meme are these bloggers I’ve recently discovered:
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Technorati: dinner party meme, tom waits, sutton bank, flailing crutches, a rainy night in soho
Do you have a recipe for that blackberry pie with melted chocolate! Sounds yummy!
I must admit I was a bit scared at first – sorry, but Englishmen are not famous for their culinary talents ! But you did okay – I mean, mussels are fine, really ! 😆
Sorry… about my French arrogance 😉
I hope you invite me if Tom shows up to play! Thanks for the nomination, I’ll put on my thinking cap and try not to serve Kraft Dinner.
Really good John! I like it 😀 I’ll go uninvited ^^ And about your birthday: wow :S
Erin: It’s hard to beat Delia Smith on pies – for this one, I’d just leave out the apples and pour on good quality bitter dark melted chocolate:
http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/apple-and-blackberry-pie,1215,RC.html
Zhu: Hah – I see you are more typically French than I thought!
As an ignorant rosbif, I humbly accept your culinary compliment. 😉
Dale: I’m not sure Kraft Dinner gets the accolades it deserves. We find it works well as an invisibility cloak for broccoli. Sorry kids – fooled again!
Aiglee: OK – the more the merrier! 🙂
I did what I could but it doesn’t top your selections!