“Mrs. Smith, can I go to the bathroom, please?”
“I don’t know. Can you?”
“May I go to the bathroom, please?
My son told me that this exchange took place regularly in his class last year. Many of us will have experienced something similar.
The teacher concerned probably responded on auto-pilot without really analyzing the language involved.
I suspect that after work she sometimes goes to the local Tim Horton’s and says:
“Can I get a toasted wholewheat bagel with plain cream cheese? And can I get a coffee – medium double double?”
I also suspect that the teacher wouldn’t like to hear this response:
“I dunno. I reckon your arms might not be long enough to reach this side of the counter.”
The point, of course, is that Can I is now a perfectly acceptable method of making a request. Almost all current grammar books will indicate this.
When my son told me about the bathroom conversation, this put me in a dilemma. I want my kids to trust their teachers. I also want them to have a coherent view of how language operates.
I explained that some people hold different views about what is grammatically acceptable. I know that this put doubt in my son’s mind about whom he can trust to give him correct information, but there you go. He also learned (or learnt if you prefer) that language use is complicated.
Correcting grammar that is already correct is definitely going too far, but correcting genuine grammatical errors can also become an obsession.
The internet is full of errors. Often, these are mistakes with its/it’s or there/their/they’re. Almost everyone slips up here from time to time, even though they might be fully aware of the rules. Some of us are busy and can’t type that well.
I know correct grammar is essential in many situations: Giving technical directions, explaining medical procedures, and documenting legal information are just three instances. See Le mariage de Figaro by Beaumarchais for a literary legal example.
However, there are many occasions when interventions by the grammar police are less justifiable. These include informal posts on message boards, hastily typed email messages, and instant messaging.
Corrections by the grammar police often include attacks on falling standards, unwanted trends, or any form of change. Superciliousness creeps in as well.
My basic view of language is as follows.
We use language for three key reasons: To give information, to get information, and to entertain.
At the heart of each reason is the desire to communicate effectively.
This driving force compels us to seek out appropriate language forms at our disposal.
Sometimes, people don’t care if they are making errors. They just want to communicate effectively.
Almost all of us break grammatical rules when we engage in conversation. In fact, normal interaction demands it. We reformulate sentences at mid-point if we see that our listeners are not following. We interupt others with bits of sentences and half-formed expressions. This is normal. It’s how we negotiate meaning.
If you don’t believe this, try recording and transcribing some of your informal chats throughout the day.
Technology has blurred the distinction between speaking and writing in areas such as instant messaging. Many people are now more tolerant of errors in this type of communication.
But not everyone.
I think correct grammar should be a flexible interpretation of generally acceptable usage, rather than a prescriptive set of rules carved in stone. Certain situations demand a certain level of clarity and unambiguity. Others don’t. Here, we can try to figure out what the person means. Or we can just ask them to make sure.
People (not grammarians) will always shape language according to need.
As usual, language is changing. And I’m loving it. 😉
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Technorati: correct grammar, grammatical errors, English grammar mistakes, grammar police
I could talk and talk and talk and talk about this column. I think our language is rich and lovely because it flows and changes all the time. Who wanteth to be formal?
You should visit the writer Tim Sandlin’s blog; he recently wrote a similar post: http://timsandlin.blogspot.com/
Yeah, that’s a dilemma. On the one hand, I do find it a bit annoying when someone writes “it’s” and “its” is correct, or things of that nature. It does change the meaning. Then again, as you said, most people understand the intent. I think your response to your son was right on. And surely, as a bi-cultural child, he will have to get used to different ways of speaking!
As for French, I had to strongly lower my grammatical expectations. I’m not saying Quebecois isn’t real French blahblahblah. But most people make an astonishing amount of grammatical mistakes… and they’re French teachers !
French are notoriously picky with grammar. We pride ourself in using a precise language, good description and right tenses. Quebecois is more like English… just get to the point and be clear. Big shock to me.
I tend to think language is all about communication and it doesn’t really matter whether saying “…” is proper. But I still cringe sometimes…
Great post !
I quite enjoyed this post.
Grammar is my downfall while typing online. Ah, well.
Beth: Thanks for the link to Tim Sandlin’s blog. I found the post – interesting. I think you might have found me my next reading material as well!
Erin: I remember one of my teachers once wrote something like this on the board:
When “its” means “its”, it’s “its”, but when it’s “it’s”, it’s “it’s.”
There, couldn’t be clearer!
Zhu: I remember a lot of grammatical minefields in French: Optional subjunctives, optional pronunciation of final letter in a word – all depending on context and degree of formality. I like these uncertain areas – always gets people talking about language!
Allison: But I think you always make life easy for your readers. Perfect grammar doesn’t always help people express themselves clearly!
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